Nothing screams “sexy” like looking like you’ve just rolled out of bed. I know you want to be comfortable and hot, but there is nothing hot about looking like a slob.

I admit, I am guilty of it myself. I have worn yoga pants in public… Twice. Not every day. Not every week. Just a couple of times.

I’m pretty sure the main reason girls wear yoga pants is because boys don’t have to imagine too much, if you get what I mean. It’s all there, hanging out in the open, screaming “I have no class, so you’re welcome to come grab my butt whenever you’d like.”

I’m not saying this out of jealousy. I have a butt. It’s not a bad butt, either, if I do say so myself. In addition to my butt, I also have this thing called self-respect. I wear yoga pants to bed because yes, they are comfortable. However, if you look like you’ve put no effort into your appearance, you look like a slob. If you look like a slob, you look like you don’t care. If you look like you don’t care, guys won’t expect anything out of you. If guys don’t expect anything out of you, forget about children. If you have to take children out of your options, you can take family out of your options. DON’T LET YOGA PANTS KILL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS.

Is it really any more hard to slip on a nicely fitting pair of jeans than it is yoga pants, anyway? I didn’t think so.

OCCASIONS IN WHICH IT IS APPROPRIATE TO WEAR YOGA PANTS:
You are going to yoga class.
Sleeping.
At home, doing nothing but being lazy.
It’s pajama day at school.
You’re in the hospital.
You’re working out.
You’re attending a convention for people that don’t care about their appearance.
You’re dressing up as a yoga instructor for Halloween.
Goodwill didn’t have anything else in your size.

Ladies, all I’m asking is that you bring back the art of fashion and ditch the slob look.

And don’t even get me started on yoga shorts.