Abusive piece of rubbish
When I was in middle school, there was a rumor going around that I had committed suicide
One of my mom’s friends called her to share her sympathies
“Oh that’s news to me, she’s sitting right in front of me” said my mom
It was funny in the most depressing way
Sparse lights.
We drove through the countryside tonight. I don’t know how some people do it.
The smell of cattle, the run-down buildings, the storefronts that haven’t been updated since 1940. Piles of tires and hay accessorize the plots of land. Many stalks of corn. In a way, it has a certain charm. I can imagine waking up as a small child to the smell of Mama making breakfast; bacon, eggs, milk. Eggs aren’t my thing but I’d be forced to eat them anyway, Daddy would be telling me in a thick southern drawl that I’d need the protein.
Except this, the southern farming life, is not mine. I don’t belong here in Kentucky. Even though my city is fairly metropolitan, I still don’t feel like I fit in. My Midwestern-ish accent is thick. I’m used to wearing the heavy sweaters, the Ugg boots, the mittens and scarves. I don’t consider myself Christian, I listen to everything that isn’t country music, and I can’t ride a horse to save my life. In other words, I am everything that a Kentuckian isn’t.
But at the same time, I feel at home here. It would be a shame to leave after getting used to the place. When I play soccer, I forget I’m in Kentucky. All I care about is having a bed to sleep in at the end of the day and a fridge full of food.
Looking out at the dark countryside tonight, I did a lot of thinking. What makes a place home? Is it where loved ones are, a place you go to feel warm, fuzzy and loved on the inside? Is home a place that you’re excited to be in, a place that shelters the memories you treasure? Where do I imagine myself in two years? In ten? In thirty?
It’s still all a blur.
Wait, so if I’m part Moroccan…
My family is made of mostly orthodox Christians and Catholics on that side, only my grandma looks the least bit Moroccan…
I think that’s cool though, I’d be interested in learning more about the culture
